introspektd

Rachannis' reflected truth in mediation

burn

Where at first I knew not where I could withstand
I anointed the space
Subtly I moved my hands over
a practiced pace
became one that welcome you here
this moment as now
vastly near

slow
steady
flickering voraciously and only in between
the enumeration
of
you and me

sanctuary

i want to run through temples with you

letting mountains sway my feet

moving at the pace of a cloud

eager to meet

the core

of either or

all you and me

 

rhythm

the first time was a surprise

a kinda ok if you had to say

the second time intentional

a bit bigger in a way

the third time

and a fourth

and times to follow all included words

quickly became my most of all

to which I’d reserved

excessive reverie

and stationary appeal

lined with vigor

in all efforts to steal

whatever I’d originally intended

and had sorta planned

left me without reason

for forever wanting this dance

 

 

 

stayed

now that you know

everything

will you have the input

the ability

the decorum

to stay

and be my heaven steel

 

A-long

Along the way

to where I know not

along the way

where the cool breeze is marred deep inside the plot

a place in fact

heart strings intact

you have so much care

ready and fully arrived

waiting for me there

along the way

 

providence

“How about I just walk backwards so you won’t see it!” to which he replied “I can get a glimpse from the mirror right there”. I laughed, all the while walking backwards looking deeply into his eyes. He was smiling at me. Two hours later I was peeking up at the lids that covered those eyes. Remembering all of what just happened. I couldn’t believe it. It’d been years since I actually liked someone and he, for whatever reason, I liked a lot. I’d convinced myself. It didn’t help that he knew exactly when to call and text; how to hug and kiss me. He knew a great deal. Another first, I really didn’t care about how he knew all of it. Just wanted more of it. As often as I could afford it. A connection like this comes with a price. All the more reason to save for rainy days.

here

I was born aware, wherever that is. Or at least that’s what I think. Whenever I do.

Sometimes I tune it out and act like everyone else. Other times I just wait. However I can.

Waiting is hard. Tricky even.

When I can’t wait to be aware I just do whatever I feel. And I convince myself that it’s a nearly perfect notion. I’ve yet to learn the art of practice. Or should I say I’ve yet to learn how to practice? Practicing being here. Does this count?

admission

I knew it, he just wouldn’t admit it at first. I’d let him naturally tell me like he always did. That’s the only reason why he stayed in touch. I gave him something that no one else could. Fortunate for me, I happened to care for him a great deal so it was easy to let him use me.

The 4 a.m. text messages asking me to do naughty things while his wife lay next to him is what gave it away. Having to tell him no was hard or should I say I’m just not used to it. I don’t even remember how…oh, yes I do. I’d told him that I wasn’t going to be able to see him as previously planned. That led to him prying and we all know what happens when someone pries. The container spills open. That. Was. Me. Told him I was “back out there”, he responded with saying he was gonna tell my mom. I laughed. Then it got serious. He loves his wife but he likes being single too. Made me think about my own place in all of it. I obviously have more thinking to do.

the section

Minding my business, chomping on salad. The phone rang. It was him. His first question “Why’d you answer the phone?”. My response “because it rang”. We both proceeded to make excuses for our last interaction boiling it down to not being able to stay away from each other. I told him about life as of late. He asked mild questions about what I’d shared to all of which I responded. He then told me about life as of late. Some of which he beat himself up over. I offered him perspective. He told me that it was what he needed to hear. Then he told me he loved me and I told him that I loved him right back. The call ended and the text messages started. He was officially a card carrying member now.

posey

purple and green

long and lean

here then gone

right and wrong

more than less

shortly impressed

she finally got her way

now what?