by introspekdt123

My 10th grade English teacher’s name was Mrs. Mitchell. She was a shapely woman who wore the biggest black eyes I had ever seen. Her hair most always crowned full and sectioned curls and her face lift included a pallet of colours that always seemed to compliment her robust honey tone. She was a most memorable woman.

She was that by sight but I remember the most enticing gem that she offered to her classes was her voice.The harmony, the inflection, the persuasion. It was plainly affectionate but  engaging at best.

My surname is Crout. A title that immediately put those wanting to pronounce such correctly in a guessing game. The next thought would be “like sauerkraut” with a simple nod as my answer. Mrs. Mitchell, however, read the name for the first time and confirmed the pronouciation. She then proceeded to nickname me “SweetCrout” and for years it has stayed with me.

Lately, I haven’t been feeling like my old SweetCrout and the excavation of reasons have turned up quite a few that might make sense.  Yes, my imbalance has caused quite a emotional stir but what has done worse is my failure to remember that while I may not be feeling like sweetCrout, I am in fact still her.

It is truly amazing when you recall the places in your life where you were most content. You think about who you were allowed to be without taunt or accusation. You relish in what you had become by way of traveled freedom and you embrace the places life took you without your full consent. You were you.You were best.

I’ve heard somewhere that the most important things in life we have are our relationships. Often times when we disassemble the word we associate that with relating to others when the first place is with self. Since I have recognized that the best place for me to live is one that suits me as a wombman, a mother, a friend, a sister, a daughter, a teacher, a writer, an advocate but most of all prudent spirit tiller it seems only right to return to the third row in my English class and look wholeheartedly forward to one of the sweetest sounds I have ever heard….roll call about 6 or 7 names in, a song that started with”SweetCrout”.