Steps, Ladders and a Boost
Last night was difficult. From what I can remember some very loud and injurious emotions broke into my place and took quite a bit of what I had. I was almost left with nothing. I am still in shock.
This morning I promised self that I would gather my thoughts and make a list of what was stolen. Not only would I claim what is missing but I would take an equal inventory for the things that remain. They are unequivocally more momentous.
While I am listing I am trying to remember how this could have happened. Did I forget to close the door all the way? Did I forget to lock both locks on the door? Did I turn the lights on? After all there is no greater message to the crawlers of darkness then when light is able to permeate all hidden corners. Did I forget to leave the bell on the door announcing all visitors? How did this happen?
I can’t help but to think that once they got in, they lifted all they could in a very short period of time. Almost like they had the advantage of attaining and I, helplessly, had the disadvantage of relinquishing. They are masters at this craft.
Now I am left with very little and still pondering how I have places to go to replace things, calls to make to discuss things, people to see to identify things and it all seems to be incredibly overwhelming.
To boot, I am an insurance agent. I have counseled thousands of people about how to live safe and secure lives. I’ve retold stories of catastrophe to others so that they could come to a place where they would plan to win and not fail to plan. I have hand delivered and mailed documents that preface the words “Keep this in safe place, just in case…” and when I called to thank them for their business again I reminded them that if ever they needed anything that I was a phone call away; reassurance. How could this have happened?
But even in my profession, I should know that risk there are two types of risk. Speculative and Pure. This seems to be a bit of both and equally at my hands. How could this have happened?
In accepting that it has in fact I immediately notice that I am preparing myself to never let it, in its rarity, happen again. What does that preparation look like? It looks like the space is sound, appropriate, in order and neat. It looks like everything is balanced and existing in harmony. It looks like the space I have always dreamed of but just didn’t have the time to put together. Who would have thought that such a calamity could end in such favor? Well, now I do.
All that was needed in this space before I was vandalized was a step, a ladder and a boost.
Now that this has happened to me I am recognizing the err of my ways. I am realizing that to completely be prepared one must lose urgency. That’s how it happen(ed)s.