This post is difficult. As difficult as it was to look over at empty wine glass that occupied the newly clean space immediately to the right of my laptop. This post is about, yup you guessed it, LOVE.
The introduction to this joint I find myself on repeat with is ” I think beauty is overrated because that’s something anyone can be. Yea..Attraction, that’s something different (uh-huh) and thankfully you’re both to me. Cause I’ve learned in this life that you gotta be with someone you like and if you think we’ve got what it takes to go the distance then I can tell you now….ah yeah ah yeah..”
I could be graphic but why…well wait. DAYUM! Those are helluva lyrics and I consider myself a musician/vocalist and ain’t never been slicker than that. Enough of the comparison, the reality of why the glass is empty and why my mood beams mellow is because I can’t seem to get past the love of before that some people typically have a name for and they call it their “ex”. Symbolism….
In the past couple of days I have re-connected with the one person I can say I totally had faith in for better, believed in despite the worst, wanted to see shine and loved to no end. It’s been difficult because all the while my present relationship doesn’t even muster, I still continue to play it’s poker-like hand. I should switch to being a dealer. Like I said, it’s been difficult. Pair the wine and the death of my grandmother, some would guess that I am just sulking and wishing for brighter days with no mourn but I say (because I know my truth) that I must find a way to deal with this unbridled love I still have for a man who lives half way across the nation.
The one thing I can say about LOVE in all of its array is that the impression is unbelievable. I took the relationship for granted and while fear was the catalyst for the cavity, having lived to this junction I can very candidly admit that I finally overstand what all the crooners sing about when they speak of not letting love pass you by. I will be sure to take their advice in the near future and most especially the next time I connect with my “ex”.
What gets me is I have never considered myself an unfaithful or vengeful person. I have prided myself on honesty, integrity and the hope for all sustaining LOVE as often as possible and that often is all the time. I have and will always believe in the infinite power of Divine Intelligence and even though my heart has been “broken” more times than I can count, I have still held the glimmer that forward thinking keeps me close, nearer and dearer to the heartstrings that I only I have an access to in instrument.
So, what is a girl to do? Continue to log into the social networks and see the his (the ex) vie for my affection and post “I’ve made up my mind…you need to come home” on my wall or should I refill the wine glass, dig into a new program for the organization I am meeting with Tuesday and think of different ways to invite love into my life? Whatcha say blogging friends?
Low on Libation, literally.
P.S. I have included the track for your listening pleasure. Please by all means, IN-JOY!